Frustrations and Big Girl Panties

Photo by Asa Rodger on Unsplash

Six days into the new year and I’m finally able to sit down and think, ponder, pray. I used to rebel against the “word for the year” thing, but gave in a couple years ago when the Lord laid a word on my heart and wouldn’t let me get away from it! Last year my word was “unhurried pace.” Yes, I’m aware it is 2 words, but if ya know me, then you know…

This morning I went through my journal from last year. Every post had something to do with waiting, moving or transitioning. But, mostly waiting. Not what I expected the unhurried pace to be. Funny, because I don’t remember it as much, but seems I lived most of 2019 in frustration. Waiting is not my strong suit!

Frustrated we had to put house plans on hold. Then we began moving forward and one thing after another held it back. One year later we are ever so much closer but have yet to break ground.

Frustrated my book wasn’t progressing.

Frustrated I didn’t have a permanent place to lay my head (or unpack my stuff)!

Ugh! Frustrated!

Two things I learned about frustration, it can cause you to give up or you can learn from it and move forward. Better. Stronger. So today I felt I had to make a decision. Coming off a year of frustration, what was I going to do about it? I decided to quit!!! Done! Stay in my apartment, watch Hallmark movies and eat bon-bons all day!

Two things I learned about frustration, it can cause you to give up or you can learn from it and move forward.

OK, so that decision only lasted a minute or two, but sometimes it is what we want to do, isn’t it? The easy way. But is it the happy way? The joyful way? The fulfilling way? I dare say not. So, I’m putting on my big girl panties, (and because of the frustrations of the last year they are a bit bigger 🥴) looking back on some of the frustrations, and seeing how I can do better. What was the Lord teaching me? Where are the blessings in all of it? ‘Cuz I guarantee you they are there!

Frustration 1 – still sitting in this apartment when I was sure I would spend Christmas in my new house, or at the least, carriage house. Reality? Bottom line of financing still not signed. Plan approvals still not signed. Not one tree down on the lot, not one scoop of dirt removed. Reflection? I’ve prayed a long time that we can build a house with financing well below our budget that we can pay off in about 10 years. Changes to our plans, changes in the market, created changes in financing beyond anything we could have imagined. If we had pushed and pushed and made this happen 6-8 months ago, none of that would have happened. The apartment life is simple – not much to clean! Our efforts can be elsewhere instead of caring for a house and all that goes with that. What a blessing!

Frustration 2 – this book is not finished! At the beginning of 2019, with my unhurried pace attitude, I wanted to learn all I could about crafting a book. I mean, I’ve written things all my life, but never a book. If I wanted people to read it and understand it, I had some studying to do. But, I still thought it would be complete by the end of 2019. NOT!! Reality? It’s a little over two-thirds done. One section edited by an editor, second section so close to going to her. Reflection? I have learned so much! No one just sits down and writes a book. There is so much involved. I do two edits, then send to my content editor who shows me what’s missing in the story, then I go back and edit that section again. My book is 3 sections, so I do that for each section. Next, I will have 2-3 beta readers who will send back feedback and I will edit from their suggestions. From there, what I will call the completed manuscript will go back to my editor for a complete readthrough. I will do final edits on her thoughts and THEN I should be able to publish. But, publish where? More learning about the publishing industry. I’ve narrowed down some good possibilities, but no final decision yet. Who will read my book? How do I get it in front of them? Well, that’s where this thing called platforming comes in. This… what I’m doing now…. writing a blog. Building Instagram and Facebook followers. Getting my name out there so when there is a physical book in my hand, more than my husband and best friends will want to read it! (Side note – I dislike the social media part of this. But, it is necessary, so I see it as my job. The thing that needs to happen, but isn’t my passion.)

Blessings: New job for my husband that allows for regular travel to NYC and Israel! Because we were “homeless” for a bit, we spent a month with our daughter and her family at the end of her pregnancy and the first few weeks of our new grandson’s life. We have plans for a great house that is everything we could dream of. A good chunk of savings to put into the new house, because we lived in an apartment!

Don’t dwell on frustrations without looking for blessings!

2020 is here. A new year, a new word. I hesitated to pick one, but the Lord laid it on my heart in the first part of December. It came through this Scripture in the Message version.

There it is! Diligence. It’s time to finish what I started. It won’t happen magically, it will take a lot of hard work. But, I have what it takes. I will do what I can, not what I can’t! I am Ready after all. Let’s do this!

If you have a word for the year, share it with me in the comments. I’ll pray for you and your year ahead!

12 thoughts on “Frustrations and Big Girl Panties

  1. This year (2020) my word is INVEST. With God’s power and strength I hope to INVEST in the lives of family,friends, and even those I don’t know this year.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The publishing journey is harder than any of us imagine, but brings us out the other end as far better writers. Each one’s journey is also uniquely shaped by God and never, ever, ever goes the way we imagined it would go, either for better or for worse. God superintends it all, and our refinement and maturity is his goal. Trust and count on him alone! God bless!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This was such an encouraging read! I understand the dislike of the necessary evil that is social media, as well as how things move so much slower than we would like when it comes to new homes. I have to tell myself over and over again, “God’s timing is not my timing. His promises are never late.”

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Prayers for your diligence, friend! Last year’s word for me was “hang on”. It was a tough adjustment leaving my high powered corporate career, but it was necessary and a HUGE drain on me mentally and emotionally. For 2020, my word is “presence”. My family deserves for me to make them a priority!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank you for sharing this honest and encouraging post! Your descriptions of life’s “little” delays sounds all too familiar. Different problems, same delays. Praying we remain strong in the joy of our God and strong in the plans He has laid on our hearts. I love how God brought forth unexpected blessings in the midst of the frustrations and delays. May our eyes be on the lookout for these sacred moments. They fill our delays with beauty beyond our checklists and timelines.

    Liked by 1 person

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