I miss life!
There. I said it. What so many of us are thinking but afraid to say. As an extrovert, I am not ok!
There. I said that too. I am not ok!
But, it’s ok, to not be ok. I think that’s a coined phrase by someone, but it’s true. Not being ok is not the end of the world. In fact, quite the opposite. When we aren’t ok, we have to make some decisions, whether good or bad.
So, let me whine a bit, then share the decisions I’ve made. Good and bad!
We moved out of our house at the end of December 2018, in order to build our last house downtown. We love being able to walk out our door and go get a cup of coffee or have a drink at a downtown pub with our friends. So many things have happened to delay the start of this dream. So much, in fact, I really don’t think about the timing of getting there. I just know one day we will. Anyway, we are temporarily living in an apartment. It’s close to the local college, so we have a lot of college age neighbors. It’s also where many of our workforce housing people live. And I love all of that.
Except now when we’re all stuck here together.
Our building process is being set back even more now with the Corona debacle. I know people are trying. Banks are trying. Boards are trying. But it just sucks. Yep, I used that word because that is what it is. Then all the stuff going on around my living circumstances. Have to close my balcony door because a neighbor is smoking on theirs. Have to keep the puppy from barking because I don’t want to disturb the kids below us. Constant noise. Kids screaming. Babies crying. Dogs barking. Trash trucks. Loud muffler cars. Constant!! So I decided I hate this apartment!
Well, short of a miracle, we have the rest of this year to live here. So I have choices and decisions. My first choice was to waller. I couldn’t write. I couldn’t read. I could watch Netflix and play Candy Crush. I can’t, or I shouldn’t, get out and walk around a store or go have lunch with a friend. So I took a nap, played Candy Crush and watched Netflix. Then I made another choice. I wanted cake! Oh, I could eat a banana, but I did that the night before. I wanted cake! Off to the store I went and I bought that cake. Just a small one, but I did it. And I ate it. And Scott ate it. And it was good.
Through it all, there has been one decision I have not changed. I will spend every morning when I get up with my cup of coffee and my Bible. Nothing earth shattering or life altering. I’m in the Old Testament right now, so it’s even a little confusing at times. But I do it. And I pray. That’s even harder than reading the Old Testament right now! And today, the still, gentle guidance of the Holy Spirit, let me know it’s all ok. Once we get through this, it will be so much better than we even imagined. We will have an appreciation we couldn’t have possibly had without all of this. He let me know it’s ok to have a time to sleep and debrain with Candy Crush. Then He let me know that the Father’s mercies are new every morning! So today I am ok. I am writing. I am learning. I am listening. And I’m going to be ok. Even if I’m not ok now. Even if my life seems way off track. Even if I have to sit in this apartment for the next year. I’m going to be ok. And so are you…
How are you doing? Are you ok? Are you not? Let me know how I can encourage you today.